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Renelle NELSON

Your Pain Matters

Hello. My name is Renelle and I’m here to help you get through the heart wrenching struggles that an affair can bring. I am a certified infidelity recovery therapist and I want to let you know there is hope.

Healing from infidelity is hard to do on your own. However, with the right mix of understanding your affair type, guidance and following the right recovery steps your relationship can be saved.

Whether you are looking to salvage your relationship or not, your chances of individual and/or relationship recovery is significantly greater when you have the right support and tools.

Let’s walk through your pain and confusion together and help you start this new chapter of moving forward.

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In attachment theory, the ultimate #couplesgoal is to heal old wounds with the right partner. ⠀
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Initially, our wounds are created in our first relationship with our parents. The relationship you have with your parents' shapes who you are in all of your romantic relationships. ⠀
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The concept is called 'Earned Attachment.' The idea is hopeful. It doesn't matter where you started or how insecure you are, you can earn a more secure attachment style in a new relationship.
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Now it won't be easy and it will take time because it's contrary to your old patterns.
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Example: you grew up with a parent, say a father who was very dismissive. No matter what you did he ignored you, you never felt validated or loved. On a deep level, you craved his attention more than anything else you felt unworthy as a result.⠀
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Now you've found a wonderful partner who loves you unconditionally. They give you lots of attention and affection. This relationship is going to feel different.
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In the past, you were attracted to partners who were similar to your father. You found emotionally unavailable men. What was familiar was the effort it took trying to get their attention. This is what you learned was love. When you don't have to work hard now it feels different. You might even try to sabotage this new relationship because you wonder, 'Am I attracted to them?' This new relationship though healthy feels boring in comparison.
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Creating a secure relationship also takes time. As a child, you witnessed hundreds of examples of being dismissed. It's going to take hundreds of examples for you to experience unconditional love also. The goal to calm down and relax into this new relationship. ⠀
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If you are trying to heal you have to know it's going to feel different and it will take time. Tag your partner who helps you heal. ⠀repost from @backtolovedoc
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#sundaysareforlovers  #love #sunday #backtolovedoc #backtolove #relationshipadvice #relationshipexpert #datecoach #selflove #mindbodysoul #holistichealing #healyourself #psychology #attachmenttheory #psychotherapist #findlove #attachments #attachmentissues #couple  #couples #relationshipgoals #lovestory #lovers #johnbowlby #truelove #ro
In attachment theory, the ultimate #couplesgoal is to heal old wounds with the right partner. ⠀ ⠀ Initially, our wounds are created in our first relationship with our parents. The relationship you have with your parents' shapes who you are in all of your romantic relationships. ⠀ ⠀ The concept is called 'Earned Attachment.' The idea is hopeful. It doesn't matter where you started or how insecure you are, you can earn a more secure attachment style in a new relationship. ⠀ Now it won't be easy and it will take time because it's contrary to your old patterns. ⠀ Example: you grew up with a parent, say a father who was very dismissive. No matter what you did he ignored you, you never felt validated or loved. On a deep level, you craved his attention more than anything else you felt unworthy as a result.⠀ ⠀ Now you've found a wonderful partner who loves you unconditionally. They give you lots of attention and affection. This relationship is going to feel different. ⠀ In the past, you were attracted to partners who were similar to your father. You found emotionally unavailable men. What was familiar was the effort it took trying to get their attention. This is what you learned was love. When you don't have to work hard now it feels different. You might even try to sabotage this new relationship because you wonder, 'Am I attracted to them?' This new relationship though healthy feels boring in comparison. ⠀ Creating a secure relationship also takes time. As a child, you witnessed hundreds of examples of being dismissed. It's going to take hundreds of examples for you to experience unconditional love also. The goal to calm down and relax into this new relationship. ⠀ ⠀ If you are trying to heal you have to know it's going to feel different and it will take time. Tag your partner who helps you heal. ⠀repost from @backtolovedoc .⠀ .⠀ .⠀ .⠀ #sundaysareforlovers #love #sunday #backtolovedoc #backtolove #relationshipadvice #relationshipexpert #datecoach #selflove #mindbodysoul #holistichealing #healyourself #psychology #attachmenttheory #psychotherapist #findlove #attachments #attachmentissues #couple #couples #relationshipgoals #lovestory #lovers #johnbowlby #truelove #ro